No, this is not The Onion
Major crime in New York City inched up this year, and Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on Friday fingered the culprit: too many iPhones and iPads were being swiped.A rise in thefts of shiny Apple products accounted for the slight increase in the city’s annual crime index, a statistic that covers a number of felonies, including murder, grand larceny and robbery, Mr. Bloomberg said on Friday morning during his weekly radio show. [...]
[C]ity officials said the overall crime figure was skewed by the Apple figure.“If you just took away the jump in Apple, we’d be down for the year,” said Marc La Vorgna, the mayor’s press secretary.
Watch out, Apple! Look at what Bloomy has done to trans-fats and Big Gulps!
I think this clown just likes to hear himself talk.
Even if he never DOES say anything intelligent.
Apparently, with Bloominidiot, it’s not so much the quality of the words he spews, as it is the sheer quantity.
This is tantamount to a zoo keeper telling visitors to keep shiny trinkets away from the monkey cages, or they’ll likely try to steal them…
This same mentality is what disarms disciplined, law abiding people in these savage cities who are then forced to be victimized by the free range beasts who belong in cages, not roaming free amongst humans.
New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
David Letterman
When a banker jumps out of a window, jump after him — that’s where the money is.
Robespierre
100,000 lemmings can’t be wrong.
Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
All valid points.
(Except I never DID trust lemmings).
“Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.”
LMAO. Thank you, rollsthepaul , for the best laugh of the day.
The weasels may find the extended death throes of the clinch traps infinitely more painful than the instantaneous death of being sucked into jet engines.