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Self-Defense Tip: Buy Guns (Not Shown) for Your Neighbors

The Truth About Guns – by Robert Farago

After checking out Austin I’ve confirmed a suspicion that’s been growing since I got divorced: New England is not a friendly place. Rhode Island in particular. I know the names of three of my neighbors and one of them is about to move. I find this a bit worrying. What if a Hurricane Sandy-style storm ploughs into little Rhody and knocks out power for a couple of weeks? My Lady and the Trampneighborhood abuts a less-than-salubrious part of town. If the nearby natives get restless, well, I’ll turn the mic over to ace snapper Oleg Volk for a rootin’ tootin’ reality check . . .

Finding ways to join forces with neighbors would be a help as well, since a typical family with two adults cannot hold a fixed position against even a slightly competent assault for any length of time. 24 hour/360 degree watch would be too hard to effect. Exceptions to that would be locations where the approach can be properly channeled, but that’s not the case for most of us.

Oleg is not wrong (as usual). Ironically, he illustrates this important point with gun porn pics of an AR-15 equipped with a “reliable” 150-round ammunition drum.

You may live in the middle of incipient militia, but the chances of one of my neighbors holding a rifle attached to an Armatac SAW-MAG are about as high asLouise Glover holding my, uh, I think you get the point (even if she doesn’t).

If push comes to shove, you may need to equip and train your very own fighting force. STAT. Wolverines! Forgive me for repeating this advice, but the best firearms for that job are the simplest and safest: revolvers and lever action rifles.

Revolvers don’t have safeties to forget. Or remember. Or remember to forget. A newbie can rest their finger on a revolver’s trigger (what’s the bet they won’t?) without necessarily firing the gun. You can teach your new BFF how to open the gate, tell them the bullets face forward, don’t point that thing at me or my child thank you very much, and hope for the best.

Long guns are far better for intimidating bad guys, but shotguns are not for newbies. Pump action? Short stroke. Recoil? Shot number two won’t even be close—if they recover. Reload? Not likely. (Hate to say it but Joe Biden’s double barrel approach offers the best chance a newbie will figure out how to get a shotgun up and running after an initial engagement.)

ARs are awesome for this kind of outdoor activity. I love me some modern sporting rifle. You could, in theory, load-up an AR-style gun for your newbie neighbor, blessing your highly inexperienced team member with 30-round capability (void where prohibited by law question mark) and worry about reloading later.

Yes, but—I would not want an AR virgin walking around with an AR with the safety off. I would not want them walking around with an AR with the safety on; they’ll forget to switch it off to fire. And if they do, rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-etc. I’ve seen it many times (most recently on Piers Morgan Tonight): once a newb gets the rifle running they forget to stop.

In short, an AR-equipped neighbor would intimidate them but scare the shit out of me and offer limited strategic advantages.

A lever gun is a low-recoil, visually impressive rifle with a speed-bump-esque learning curve and excellent capacity. You load it up for your fellow defender and leave the chamber empty. Instruct them to work the action if needs be. Continue to work it if needs be becomes needs must.

The necessary pause between rounds with a lever gun—a good second for someone not trying to Lucas McCain the piece—is a good thing, not a bad thing; giving the shooter the chance to consider the effect (or lack thereof) of each shot.

Speaking of which, I know this sounds silly, but lever guns tend to bring out the shooter’s inner cowboy. The taciturn good guy who only shoots when he has to, and does so with steely-eyed determination.

And there you have it: a reason to go out and buy three or four revolvers and lever guns. You might not want to share this logic with your neighbors (just yet) and/or someone in your household who has input on your expenditures. But rest assured they’ll all be grateful should shit get out of hand. Words you may not want to use but you’d do well to remember.

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2 Responses to Self-Defense Tip: Buy Guns (Not Shown) for Your Neighbors

  1. REDHORSE says:

    Levers are a good choice for some and i fit in that some.I’m not saying they are the best choice for all but i’m a lot better shot with one maybe because i’ve had more pratice with one.They are very reliable and can (depending on caliber)hold a good ammount of rounds.

    • uninformedluddite says:

      And according to something I saw in a movie you can have one in each hand and spin them around to work the lever. Sort of like loaded nun chuks.

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