US President Barack Obama, uncompromising civil rights defender and national change guru, arrived in Palestine today – a move that some of his Republican opponents didn’t even think was geographically possible.
After a short cultural briefing at the US consulate in Jerusalem,
…the American President’s (8) military helicopters, which were cunningly disguised to look like magic carpets, benevolently circled over Ramallah before landing tenderly inside the Palestinian presidential compound.
Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas welcomed the leader of the free world…
…by deploying 10,000 Palestinian soldiers, and putting the entirety of Irsal street on nine-hour house arrest – a demonstration Palestine’s commitment to freedom and security.
During a working lunch, which was closed to the inconsiderately nosy Palestinian public, Mr. Abbas asked President Obama to consider the basic human rights of the Palestinian people. According to sources present at the meeting, Mr. Obama responded,
Mr. Abbas, who still isn’t quite sure what he has done (at all, ever), was apparently eager to change the subject.
Mr Obama concluded the meeting by saying something cryptically inspiring.
He and his 700 menservants then returned in their bullet-proof Cadillac limousines to their Israeli handlers in Jerusalem along a route that has since been renamed “The Underground Railroad.”
This has been a Stuck in Palestine special report.