Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all the places get filled up.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to sleeping late now. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your bunk and shine some stuff. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not that bad, because there’s warm water here. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “forced marches,” which the platoon sergeant says is necessary to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “forced march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in big trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting awards for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with them boys back home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
Hahahahahaha, I love it!!
Ditto !
That’s hilarious.
LOL… didn’t see THAT comin’.
LOL, good one.
Seriously, though: the more women, fatties, faggots, trannies, and sissies that end up in the ranks of the US military, the better. Remember, these are the people who will be helping the pigs when the big gun grab starts. We want US infantry forces to be as weak as possible. The naval and nuclear forces should remain capable enough to prevent a foreign military attack, but apart from that, we shouldn’t want a strong standing military.
i work with the Marine Corps and this letter is friggin awesome my friend. Thank you for sharing.
Hardest part of boot camp was putting up with all the inner city thugs who back talked and complained.
Remember to be lady like Beulah.
Love,
Ma 😀
HAHAH! Love it! As for what someone else said: Give me a woman who wants to fight and loves the job any-day over some whiny pussy-whipped faggot.
No offense JD. 🙂
Love ya brother.