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Bill To Regulate Pressure Cookers Gaining Steam

Daily Paul – by Pol Pot

A bipartisan bill introduced on Monday will require background checks on pressure cooker sales and set limits on sales of nails and ball bearings.

House Bill 10-289, the ‘Pressure Cooker Prevention of Crime and Protection of Children Act of 2013′ (PCPCPCA) has already gained 391 sponsors spanning both of the two sides of the political spectrum, the Democrats and the Republicans.  

However, despite the tragedy of April 15 in Boston, which killed three people including an innocent child, and injured hundreds including probably at least two dozen innocent, sweet little children, some politicians are actually opposing it.

“I know it’s a cliche, but I’m gonna say it again – if pressure cookers are outlawed, then only outlaws will have pressure cookers” said Senator Rand Paul, a noted rabble-rouser and suspected right-wing republican.

Other voices in Washington were more reasonable.

“I appreciate pressure cookers and the American pressure cooker culture” says Congressman Jack Slipjaw (D-South Dakota) “but the simple fact remains: nobody needs more than one pressure cooker, and nobody but a bloodthirsty terrorist needs one with greater than a 6-inch diameter. Background checks and a waiting period will save countless lives in the future, many of them innocent small beautiful children like that one that was killed in Boston.”

“The language in the bill is too vague” opined Rep. Randy Rootentooter (R-Hawaii). A 5-day waiting period for 6-inch wide pressure cookers, but a 7-day period for cookers 8 1/4 inches wide or greater? These designations are arbitrary, and any debate on them is just arguing semantics, except with numbers and fractions instead of words.”

A rider in the bill concerning the purchase of nails and ball bearings is also drawing criticism. Senator Sassy Grassstain, another republican politician from Alabama or Louisiana, may actually have her head screwed on straight. “We have taken many factors into consideration while considering the factors for sales of nails and ball-bearings, and have come to the logical conclusion that nails shorter than one inch cannot pierce vital organs and therefore will be allowed for sale without a nail-owner’s permit. Anything longer than that is a deadly weapon or at least a dangerous one if used by an unqualified person to do home repairs that should only be tackled by a professional. Furthermore, all purchases of ball bearings should be immediately eyed with suspicion. Think about it. When is the last time you’ve needed a box of ball bearings? Clearly only machine shops and terrorists need a whole box of deadly ball bearings.”

The bill is expected to pass the senate and be signed into law on Tuesday.

http://www.dailypaul.com/283062/bill-to-regulate-pressure-cookers-gaining-steam

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29 Responses to Bill To Regulate Pressure Cookers Gaining Steam

  1. Carl Buschmann says:

    This is pure unadulterated USDA bovine excrement. All 391 sponsors should be sent a letter revoking their hand gun licenses and all weapons confiscated due to a mental illness. Get their names and add them to the list of violators of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Oops, my bad as most of them are probably already on the list.

    • Henry Shivley says:

      You do realize this IS SATIRE, right?

      • Carl Buschmann says:

        My bad. Missed that Henry. Like I missed my first cup of coffee too.

        • Henry Shivley says:

          You do realize that the pressure cooker story and your first comment will be the opener on The Word From the Trenches today? LOL
          No insult, just showing that this insurgent government is so far out of hand that anything is plausible.

    • NC says:

      Carl, no biggie. I would have thought this was real, too if Henry didn’t point it out. With our government, anything is possible. It’s a crazy world we live in, right now.

      • kippa slave says:

        agreed. what is pathetic is how very plausible this article actually is. in fact i would advise it be quickly be removed. we dont want to give congress any ideas

  2. Patriot Joe says:

    LOL!!! I needed a good laugh this morning.

  3. diggerdan says:

    Good one Admin. I was just going to read the article and then all of a sudden Millard called me asking if I read that article as he knows that I love my pressure cooker, LOL. Yep ya gave me a good much needed wake up laugh. :)

  4. Jolly Roger says:

    What’s funny is that our government has become so ridiculous that people believe this.

  5. rhumstruck says:

    ROTFLMAO!!
    Welcome back Henry! Just when I thought the relief valve was going to blow you provided us with a good laugh! Thanks!!

  6. Cranford says:

    If they were truely worried about “home made bombs” there would have been a ban, or licensing, of the sale of steel pipes and fitting long ago.

  7. CAR says:

    OMG ,thank-you I really needed that this morning, on my way to the dentist and better Stop at Wal-Mart before the bad take place! LOL

  8. NobodysaysBOO says:

    BREAKING NEWS from BOSTON:
    HOMEOWNERS are leaving their DANGEROUS PRESSURE COOKERS on the streets and sidewalks WITHOUT ANY POLICE PRESENCE!

    THIS CRIMINAL behavior MUST STOP NOW!

    OUR POLICE PROTECTORS ARE SCARED and are running away from these DANGEROUS COOKERS!
    EVEN the WONDERFUL and FRIENDLY ISRAELIE AGENTS WILL NOT TOUCH THESE COOKERS! SOME OF THESE COOKERS MAY NOT EVEN BE KOSHER!!!!

    • rhumstruck says:

      PREPPER ROAD TRIP!
      If that were true Boston would be under siege from preppers trying to grab all the pots they can carry. Pressure cookers are much too expensive and useful to be blowing them up.

  9. Steve Apple says:

    Hey All luv the title abbreviation PcPcPca or politically correct,but seriously folks these are baby cookers I have 2- 7qt and my neighbor has a 14quart cooker and you talk about cranking out the canned food,but many dont know the danger of these kitchen bombs,I have seen the lid blow off and blow right through the ceiling ,glass jars shattering/exploding covering every inch of the kitchen in green beans.Mine are old and one has a weighted jiggler that must be watched 3-4 jiggles a minute all BS aside they are the most dangerous POT in the world.no not that kinda of pot LOL
    Steve

    • diggerdan says:

      LOL, yes Steve, I remember one blowing the lid off when I was a kid too. They really can blow up for sure. The ones now days though are a lot safer than the ones of yesterday. I also got one of thoes big ones – it is almost as big as a 5 gal. bucket. I do not use it but that one sure could light up the night I bet. I just keep the one around because it is so big. My favorite one is a 6 qt. cooker from Presto. Yep I use mine all of the time, they are great for cooking.

      • Steve Apple says:

        Hey Digger,yea the new ones are fairly safe but one of the ones I have is so old it doesnt even have a rubber seal its just kinda cone shaped aluminum with about 8 fold up screw down latches that you have to tighten in a torque like crisscross pattern ,but I have canned food thats 10 yrs old that tastes like it was picked yesterday and beef or pork has a most woderfull taste after pressure cooking/canning.
        Steve

        • diggerdan says:

          Yep Steve, my big one has 6 fold up hand screws with a pressure relief valve along with a pressure gage that registers up to 30 lbs and up to 274 degrees. It is hard to beat fresh pressure cooked food.

          • rhumstruck says:

            Hmmm, with a pot that size I’d be canning a lot of road kill along with what I shot!
            OFFTOPIC: steve, digger anyone else? The PUB is open. Come on in!
            (11:00 am CT)

          • diggerdan says:

            Hey there Rummstruck, sorry I didn`t meet you guys at the Pub I had to reinstall Java to go there and it took 4 tries to install Java. Anyway I`ll check back on the Pub every now and then guys. :) .

    • Mona says:

      I have very old 7qt. cooker. It exploded full of beans. O my Gosh. What a mess. Covered my ceiling, wall, cabinets. Everything close. I thought the world blew up. Yes they can be dangerous but they sure do cook and can some wonderful food. I thought the government was trying to take them away from me. I was scared. :o)

  10. RT Hawk says:

    Great job on the story/bill hehe!
    And the description on the pressure cooker (Evil black, Muzzle break thingy that goes up lol!) Love it!
    Thank you Admin.! :)

  11. “If they start going door to door, I will destroy all of my records.” – Executive Manager, Mayflower Trading Company

  12. It is I only says:

    It’s just to make you SAFE !
    BTW! Don’t THINK independently. The Government will do the THINKING for you!

  13. Ned says:

    Pressure cookers will be raining down on Afganistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Iran to pressure those ‘brownies’ to get with the bankers.
    Demand wil be high for res-supply and SWAT teams will be going house to house for the re-supply.
    So hide your ‘cooker’ somehwere where she will be safe.
    OOPS! I am ducking for cover from those ‘cookers’.

  14. # 1 NWO Hatr says:

    Good one, Henry! LOL

    What about crock pots? The lids could always be duct taped on. :-)

    • Steve Apple says:

      #1
      Now dont you let them fedz know about the many terrorizer uses for duct tape,If they ban duct tape there goes one of my favorite shows red-green(maybe the best thing to ever come out of canaduh) and what will the circle racers(nascar another left turn)use to stick their crashed cars back together with.
      Steve

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